SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
| AUGUST 15, 2019 ◊ KASSI UNDERWOOD
Twice in my twenties I had long-term live-in relationships with people I loved. In both cases, there came a time when the relationship was over, and deep down, I knew it, but I was terrified to actually leave.
In one case, I was scared because the relationship was controlling and I didn’t know how to figure out the logistics of moving out without him finding out and making my life miserable.
In the other case, he was my dear friend, biggest supporter, and a hilarious brilliant person; we had a beautiful life and a dog and furniture and it didn’t make sense for it to be over in my heart, and yet it was.
How would I say it, and when?
Twice I had to muster the courage not only to tell the truth to myself and to the other person but also to figure out the logistics: who gets the dog? (Okay, in both cases there was a dog). Who gets the apartment? Who gets the furniture, the books? Who would tell our friends? Our families? Did we stay in touch with each other’s families? Because we loved each other’s families.
It all seemed so complicated.
But the practical, metaphysical, action-oriented work I did gave me the courage and conviction to do what had to be done, even though I was scared. To follow through with faith.
Maybe you’ll stay. Maybe you’ll go. Maybe you’ll create a revolutionary new model of relationships.